Dear Reader
Back in march, i got that call that most children dread. My Mother past at age 55. We where very close, she was my best friend, Mother, critic, muze, ect.
At first i felt loss then i was confused in way she had to pass young. I look for any any excuse to make sense of the situation. And Yes i was a momma's boy
Its like you heart was cut out and diced into pieces and insert back up with parts missing in place back in your chest I was totally devastated.. I stopped living I was only existing as a human being I didn't know what I was going to do without her You could say i was in a very self destructive mode and this will continue for months on end just existing not living i Even Tried going 600 miles away ..nothing helped....then in September her birthday comes. That was a long day, but 5 days later I would have a revelation...as I'm doing my best that day to get numb I would hear her voice say.son i tought better you got to man up and get your life going again. As I sit here and think about all the things she didn't teach me in life I come to realize that I was her legacy if I stopped living then she was totally gone but as long as I keep going and doing the things that I needed to do my love to be productive I was honoring her in the after life. After a Million tears I realize that she's no longer has to suffer in pain Are deal with the day today headache that she was going through my mother was a very special and kind human being and I truly do miss her so this holiday season don't forget to hug the ones that you love and keep them close spend as much time with older parents or grandparents as you can because you never know when they're going to go .....Rest in peace Mother. .....
At first i felt loss then i was confused in way she had to pass young. I look for any any excuse to make sense of the situation. And Yes i was a momma's boy
Its like you heart was cut out and diced into pieces and insert back up with parts missing in place back in your chest I was totally devastated.. I stopped living I was only existing as a human being I didn't know what I was going to do without her You could say i was in a very self destructive mode and this will continue for months on end just existing not living i Even Tried going 600 miles away ..nothing helped....then in September her birthday comes. That was a long day, but 5 days later I would have a revelation...as I'm doing my best that day to get numb I would hear her voice say.son i tought better you got to man up and get your life going again. As I sit here and think about all the things she didn't teach me in life I come to realize that I was her legacy if I stopped living then she was totally gone but as long as I keep going and doing the things that I needed to do my love to be productive I was honoring her in the after life. After a Million tears I realize that she's no longer has to suffer in pain Are deal with the day today headache that she was going through my mother was a very special and kind human being and I truly do miss her so this holiday season don't forget to hug the ones that you love and keep them close spend as much time with older parents or grandparents as you can because you never know when they're going to go .....Rest in peace Mother. .....
Thank you for reading TS
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